It's been 50 days between treatments, but I'm finally starting a clinical trial! I was uncomfortable with the idea, but I understand them better after talking to friends who have been through clinical trials and meeting my treatment team. This experimental drug sounds like a good fit for me! ... read more

None of my chemotherapy treatments work. My specialist thinks a particular clinical trial is the best option for me, and I'll meet my new doctor soon. I was kind of feeling like the adventurous part of cancer was going to start up again soon, with how much I disliked FOLFOX, and maybe I was ... read more

Heads up! Spoiling the novel Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser (1900).

FOLFIRI is so isolating. Unlike FOLFOX's 2-day recovery period, FOLFIRI has me dragging for over a week with an awful mix of fatigue, pain, and moodiness. Without being able to go anywhere or handle ... read more

I had a break between chemos, and it was harder than I expected. After a nearly a year of FOLFOX, I hit my limit.

It’s ironic. I’ve looked great on chemo. I call it the "chemo glow." Targeting fast-growing cells is like a spa treatment, and I’ve been especially careful with shea ... read more

I have to spend so much time lying down! It's so boring!! But unfortunately, my quest to find something vaguely more productive than doomscrolling gave me a Wattpad addiction. I can finally write again, but it's on a community that doesn't do anything but bizarre and contrived romance. What an ... read more

I think something amazing happened. My PET scans are back, and they are excellent.

I still have tumors (a big one on my liver, a few free-floaters in my caking, and the first one in my colon), but they aren't active anymore. My last CT scan showed a big decrease in their sizes, ... read more

I started my 12th chemo treatment on the 8th, and though I'm starting to feel some side effects, I have enough energy to do some hobbies and hang out with friends again. Honestly, cancer's starting to feel like the "new normal." My nurses are more optimistic every time I see them, so hopefully ... read more

My health was in the background all 2023. Instead, the entire year, I made it my mission to fix my relationship with my dad. He never accepted me as "I came out wrong," so he cut me out of his life as much as possible. Mom's death softened him and I think he has been making small efforts to try ... read more