diary

I had a break between chemos, and it was harder than I expected. After a nearly a year of FOLFOX, I hit my limit.

It’s ironic. I’ve looked great on chemo. I call it the "chemo glow." Targeting fast-growing cells is like a spa treatment, and I’ve been especially careful with shea ...

I have to spend so much time lying down! It's so boring!! But unfortunately, my quest to find something vaguely more productive than doomscrolling gave me a Wattpad addiction. I can finally write again, but it's on a community that doesn't do anything but bizarre and contrived romance. What an ...

I think something amazing happened. My PET scans are back, and they are excellent.

I still have tumors (a big one on my liver, a few free-floaters in my caking, and the first one in my colon), but they aren't active anymore. My last CT scan showed a big decrease in their sizes, ...

Ostomy pouches are ugly! My colostomy was unplanned and came very suddenly, so body positivity was a struggle at the beginning. It was mortifying if it ever showed underneath my shirt. On top of that, they also aren't very comfortable, even with a fabric backing. The bottom opening can be sharp ...

I started my 12th chemo treatment on the 8th, and though I'm starting to feel some side effects, I have enough energy to do some hobbies and hang out with friends again. Honestly, cancer's starting to feel like the "new normal." My nurses are more optimistic every time I see them, so hopefully ...

My health was in the background all 2023. Instead, the entire year, I made it my mission to fix my relationship with my dad. He never accepted me as "I came out wrong," so he cut me out of his life as much as possible. Mom's death softened him and I think he has been making small efforts to try ...

I read my Bible and prayed and all, but I never felt comfortable at church in my teens. I grew up immersed in the church since I was a baby, so I passively accepted everything that happened there as a normal part of church, good or bad. Was my church's culture based on the Bible, though? ...

Just a quick update about treatment changes, traveling to a research center, and how my health is. I'm doing okay. :)

My oncologist added a new medication to my treatment, and once again, God has been very gracious with side effects. She always ...