None of my chemotherapy treatments work. My specialist thinks a particular clinical trial is the best option for me, and I'll meet my new doctor soon. I was kind of feeling like the adventurous part of cancer was going to start up again soon, with how much I disliked FOLFOX, and maybe I was ... read more

Quickie post. I'm tired of the millennial pink and blue colors, so it's redesign time again! I'm not really changing much else for now. I got some more bugs out of the CSS, too. The pictures are very wide this time, so remember you can right-click and view the full-size image in your browser. ... read more

Heads up! Spoiling the novel Sister Carrie by Theodore Dreiser (1900).

FOLFIRI is so isolating. Unlike FOLFOX's 2-day recovery period, FOLFIRI has me dragging for over a week with an awful mix of fatigue, pain, and moodiness. Without being able to go anywhere or handle ... read more

There's some uncertainty about how to move forward with my treatment, so let's have a community day of prayer and fasting on Wednesday. If you like, participate however you prefer.

I want to fast again but with family and ... read more

I had a break between chemos, and it was harder than I expected. After a nearly a year of FOLFOX, I hit my limit.

It’s ironic. I’ve looked great on chemo. I call it the "chemo glow." Targeting fast-growing cells is like a spa treatment, and I’ve been especially careful with shea ... read more

I have to spend so much time lying down! It's so boring!! But unfortunately, my quest to find something vaguely more productive than doomscrolling gave me a Wattpad addiction. I can finally write again, but it's on a community that doesn't do anything but bizarre and contrived romance. What an ... read more

I think something amazing happened. My PET scans are back, and they are excellent.

I still have tumors (a big one on my liver, a few free-floaters in my caking, and the first one in my colon), but they aren't active anymore. My last CT scan showed a big decrease in their sizes, ... read more

Ostomy pouches are ugly! My colostomy was unplanned and came very suddenly, so body positivity was a struggle at the beginning. It was mortifying if it ever showed underneath my shirt. On top of that, they also aren't very comfortable, even with a fabric backing. The bottom opening can be sharp ... read more